Relatable Notes

For so long I have continued to only acknowledge the things you finally got right which could be considered bare minimum in any setting, that I overlooked the things you are obligated to do and failed to do as a parent. I am told that I will never know the love you have for me until I have a child of my own. Is it too much to ask that the love you say you have for me is shown and offered when I require it? I have never and will never dismiss or minimise the effort you have put into my person; you have cleaned up my messes more times than I can count. But for the few requests which I have sent in your direction, begging for your help and admitting that I failed, to be blatantly ignored and considered another lesson I am to be taught only for reasons which allow you to say "I told you so" is a clear lapse in the brief guidelines provided to you in 'Human Compassion 101".  Acting out of pure desperation and lack of ideas of survival of my own, I sucked up the little p...

Dear Jelly Bean, little sister, stubborn grudge holding teenager and best friend! I can't even begin to apologise for what you have had to see me put myself and our family through. I was and still am supposed to be your big sister, your rock, role model and someone you can count on and call on whenever and wherever! Everyday I am starting to understand more and more how hurt and angry you are at me for my actions including my blatant disregard for my own health and safety and for the position I put you in when I stole money from our mum. I at the time felt like I had to grow up fast because of the world I put myself in, but looking at the shit I have caused now I can see that you HAD to grow up fast and help our family because of my selfishness and disrespect. And I am so so so sorry that I caused that pain for you. I can't ever expect you to forgive me for ruining precious time that the spotlight should have been shinning brightly on you but I caused the attention to follow...