Strongest of Bonds Leave you Weak and Vulnerable

For so long I have continued to only acknowledge the things you finally got right which could be considered bare minimum in any setting, that I overlooked the things you are obligated to do and failed to do as a parent. I am told that I will never know the love you have for me until I have a child of my own. Is it too much to ask that the love you say you have for me is shown and offered when I require it? I have never and will never dismiss or minimise the effort you have put into my person; you have cleaned up my messes more times than I can count. But for the few requests which I have sent in your direction, begging for your help and admitting that I failed, to be blatantly ignored and considered another lesson I am to be taught only for reasons which allow you to say "I told you so" is a clear lapse in the brief guidelines provided to you in 'Human Compassion 101". 

Acting out of pure desperation and lack of ideas of survival of my own, I sucked up the little pride I had left and admitted to failure and looked to you for guidance, support and for a familiar and welcoming hand to hold. Upon admitting to you that I had been defeated past the point of pure exhaustion you greeted me with a comforting embrace and led me blindly to a false sense of security. To teach me the lesson you thought necessary, you left me to fend for myself without first being given the basics. 

Thank you for the pain I am left with presently that I will never voice to you and for the ability to justify what you put continue to put me through daily for the simple fact that I would only be adding to your jenga stack of stressors which would ultimately end up being blamed on my issues.